My Virginity

I don't think I've ever come right out and declared it; at least not on teh interwebz. However, I think anyone who has read pretty much anything I've posted on this matter could guess. I am virgin. I am 23 years old. I am fully aware that it isn't actually unusual to reach this age without having head sex even if it feels like it is. This type of question seems to pop pretty frequently on "Question Tuesdays" and the like. However, I typically find myself annoyed with the way it is answered.

The term that is always used is, "ready." I understand the importance of being ready. I also understand that typically this question is posed by a girl and the audience in social media is mostly girls and being ready and not getting pressured into sex is important given the nature of our society and adolescence for women.

I just don't think "ready" works in discussing my virginity. Perhaps, in a grand sense of the things one could argue that I'm not ready (more on that later.) However, I feel that I am. My hurdle is finding some one to have sex with me. I really want to have sex. I'm not hesitant about it, if a safe opportunity presented itself I'd be all over it. That circumstance has not presented itself to me as of yet.

Why exactly hasn't that circumstance presented itself? I lack any sort of assertiveness and cultural norms suggest that I should have some. I'm supposed to be the one to ask someone else. I'm supposed to be able to approach a girl. I would say that I'm socially stunted. I didn't go to any big parties in High School or really out much at all for that matter. My college experience has been at a commuter school which hasn't lent itself to making friends much  less something more.

I am definitely behind schedule in terms of these sort of things. I didn't have a grown-up kiss* until I was 21 and that devolved into my first and only make-out session and I was definitely the passive one in this exchange. The exact details of this exchange will remain scarce for the sake of both parties involved.

It could be said the fact that I'm pathologically shy in general, but worse so around girls is proof that I'm not really "ready" for sex. The thought of having a girlfriend and having sex with her is very appealing to me. However, the thought of actually getting a date and going on said date is still horrifying.

I still really want to have sex, as I've said. I don't know exactly what the emotional aspect of having sex with another person would be like, but I'd like to think I'm mature enough to handle it. If we presume that I'm correct in my belief that I am actually ready, it doesn't mean I get to have it. Someone has to be willing to be other person. It's simple really. It just is a tad irritating to be told "ready" is the key.

Hey look, one that isn't about touching (or not) myself.

Thanks for reading
-Michael

*You know, with tongue, and stuff

Today's Turn-on:  Emma knows what she did.