Masturbation Fantasies

Today, I am coming to you from the Beautiful, but often-making-michael-wet*, Bellingham, Washington. Why precisely I am here will be addressed in a post about my trip on my primary blog, which I allow my sister to read. However, it is about a quarter til 8:00 here and I've been awake since before 6:30, because time differences and (probably mostly) because of the 5ish hour nap I took yesterday afternoon/evening.

So, this morning on Tumblr I found this on my timeline. It is an intriguing way to consider fantasy. You don't need someone's permission to imagine having sex with them. Of course, an imagination isn't real, but it still does seem like you're taking something from the subject of the fantasy. You aren't really though unless you tell people, but it feels like it because masturbation is a very personal experience and one's fantasies are revealing.

I sometimes feel guilty about some of the things (usually people; sometimes acts) that come to mind during my masturbation sessions. If I really care about someone, it is hard for them to be the reason I'm trying to get myself of, but still they sometimes pop into my head during the process. I shouldn't really feel guilty, because it isn't real and they won't know. Still, I know and after-the-fact it seems weird, because while imaginary them may have said yes, real them didn't.

The issue here is really about telling a person though. I don't see any circumstance where it would be appropriate to tell anyone that they are the subject of your masturbation fantasies without prompt. The only goal anyone could accomplish with that is making the other person uncomfortable. It just seems like a particularly horrific form of harassment; almost like a more humiliating form of cat-calling. One isn't likely helping another's self-esteem** by telling her that I get off by thinking about you, but is objectifying her.


I think it is more complex in the unlikely scenario, in which you are asked directly. I tend to think honesty is probably the best option here, because I think the mostly likely reason that someone is asking you is because he or she suspects it and I doubt the question would be asked if there wasn't some expectation of the answer being. 'yes.' However, I'm sure that isn't always the case so use your best judgement

However, I would imagine it would still be difficult to tell someone directly that you masturbate thinking of them, if you are a normal human capable of empathy and such. It is a deeply personal thing and once it's out there it can't be not be out there. It seems like it could be damaging to a relationship and probably isn't a healthy thing to be sharing between two people who aren't romantically linked. However, it doesn't have to be a big deal.

Basically, I am saying keep it to yourself (unless directly asked and in which case use discretion) and try not to feel guilty about which people you end up thinking about whilst masturbating. The reasons you think about someone while masturbating can be very simple or very complex, but you aren't exactly in your normal state of mind while doing it, so just because you thought of someone sexually you shouldn't have in that moment doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything.

I have a feeling that this post is pronoun nightmare.

Thanks for reading

-Michael

*Context is everything. 
**This is a staggeringly common defense for harassment

Whoops, almost forgot:

Today's Turn-on:  Nikki in the Silversun Pickups new music video.